Nightmare!!!!

I woke up at 5 am and have cold sweats all over me, i was having a nightmare...a terrible nightmare which bring me back a story that happen 12 yrs ago..........

I had 3 good friends , we used to do lots of things together,we party, drink,fight and even spend time together everyday....i shall name them....MK,LW and JT.....all of us comes from a different background, Mk parents is rich ,LW was an orphan and JT comes from a broken family..... Mk is the only one who drives and will pick all of us up and home was a condo in the eastern part of SG, Mk parents owns the place and let him stays there with us...work never comes across us and money was easily obtained....illegally.

We do things together and share the daily taking equally,even though Mk is the one who forked out the initial money..Drugs,Girls and clubs is a daily routine and fights happen almost every weekend, we were part of a Gang that was very strong at that time.... we need to just dial few numbers and we have 100 of guys in bout half n hour....we live like prince back than ...

Lw was the guy ppl terrified to even talk as he have an ego as big as Takashimaya, Town was like a home,we spend time there , we did lots of illegal things to sustain the lifestyle...having 1k to spend daily was like an everyday thingy....

One day .LW wanted to be more powerful in this market, instead of just becoming a horse,he wanna be the owner .He talked and discuss bout this and most of us are reluctant to follow as the consequences is really big....BIG MONEY COMES WITH BIG CONSEQUENCES....this is where LW background play a part in his decision, he was an orphan and dun really know who his parents are,he grew up in a home and was pass from house to house till he settle down with his grandma,he is always hungry to show ppl what he is capable of and to get respect from them....as usual 3 of us disagree to his decision and tell him not to think so much bout it....which obviously he didn't listen......

One month later he called and say he need to take out money from the account( we all have a joint account) we asked him y ? he says a new shipment of goods is coming and its cheap,so he wanna to get it... We told him its not a good idea but he insist on doing it for our future......

Finally we give in to him as we know him too well,if we never gave him the cash,he will still try to find it and do it on his own and that's what we dun want to happen.. The day of transaction came and they are suppose to meet at a crowded shopping centre. I dunno who choose the place but we all went ahead as plan...LW being LW dun wish to get us directly involved in the messy business.....we were ask to wait at the car park ,LW and MK went to meet the other party.... half an hour went by and still no sign and i took the initiative to go up and look for them.........

True enough, they are screwed.....both of them is being handcuffed and led away by a group of civilian policeman. I cant go near them ,i cant shout at them, i walk pass them and the way they behave as if they dun know me at all.....that's how we dun wanna get each other in trouble in case anything happen...I went back to the care with a red eyes and told JT what happen... we were at a loss.....we dunno where to go and finally decide to visit MK parents and told them what happen... We finally heard from them and they are allowed to go out on a 50k bailed....Mk parents paid for Mk and we paid for LW using the money we had and source.....

What i heard next from MK really shocked me, he told us that LW insisted that the things were his and MK was just a friend which follow him and never knew bout the transaction... in other words...he wants to be solely responsible for the case......and if he is convicted, it the death sentence for him.....

weeks gone by, MK parents got the best lawyer for him and LW was only granted a nominated lawyer from the courts.....Mk got released soon after that and LW was sentenced ..........TO HANGED!

I cried in court, the 3 of us felt helpless as LW was taken away ,he smiled at us and we got few minutes to talk before he was taken away......HE SAID" PROMISED ME ONE THINGS", I SAY" I WILL PROMISED U ANYTHING BUDDY" LW continued " STOP DOING WHAT WE DID,ITS NOT WORTH IT, TAKE ME AS A LESSON" ....PLEASE!

....That's the word we last hear from him..... we are not allowed to visit him as we r not his relatives,we only write to each other and the date of hanging is really near.......At the day itself, we 3 meet and when to pray for him...we knew at 5 am in the morning after the morning prayer, his life will be gone..... we drive down to prison and saw the funeral van waiting there already, we asked a couple of question and were told that they gonna bathed him in the mosque at the cemetery..........A life is gone cos of greed and power!

We reached the cemetery mosque and few of our friends is there, my few is about 100 of them, i asked to be allowed to shower him and when i saw his body, i couldn't help it but hug the rest to stop me from crying....... the mark on the neck was prominent, and while bathing his nose bleed.... i watch helplessly and i felt my knee began to become week.....They brought me out and ask me to rest , i told them its my buddy body which is in there and i wanna go thru it no matter how hard i felt.......

The burial goes on smoothly without any obstacles, 3 of us promised to heed what LW last words to us.....................

Is this a blessing in disguised or is this sign from GOD? if its a sign.... y lost a life to show me the sign?

LW.....12 yrs have gone by and your face never once we forgotten,if u r here now, u see how successful we have become.... u will be happy for us.........

This is where i got the quotes......TO BE OLD AND WISE, U FIRST HAVE TO BE YOUNG AND STUPID!

Regrets ....a word i usually hate but i always had

Regrets i had a few,but that again to few to mention....Someone told me this quotes few years ago HATE THE SINNER,FORGIVE THE SINS( its still runs deeply in my head)

All of us had regrets, we regrets bout things that we say, we do and encounter,whatever regrets we had ....it always keep on coming back to us.Sometimes we regret how we treat an individual like a friend,your ex girlfriend. We knew we didn't treat them right but we refuse to listen,we knew we hurt them but we refused to admit,we knew that we are give the chance,but we refuse to change....but Y? Y are we so reluctant to change? y we refuse to listen to our heart and do Wat's best for both of u ?

Once wen we alone, than we start to think bout what we did,is it wrong or not? or could we handle the situation better or not? Once a love is lost,it wont come back anymore....but to know if that person love u ....let her go,if she comes back...she is yours forever? that's wat they say

What if someone says that he/she loves u and leave u ? would u feel angry? hurt? or maybe your ex if seeing your old friend which u introduced to when u are together. How would that hurt u ? would u forgo the long friendship? ( i would if its happen to me)

What if your partner keeps on asking u to leave them?maybe they say u be better off without them, or u find happiness if u with someone else.... or what if your daughter hated your partner,would u carry on?

I told everyone, i never REGRETS everything that happens or i gone thru ...that's a lie! .... I DO IN FACT HAVE LOTS OF REGRETS...I'm just making myself feeling happy and living in denial..But wen the things u regrets before happen again in the future...would u know how to deal with it? or would u just do what u did before?

Me and My Singapore Gomen

THE GOVERNMENT SOLUTION TO A PROBLEM IS USUALLY AS BAD AS THE PROBLEM ITSELF!!!!!


Who agreed to what i say ?
How many agreed but afraid to admit?

No matter what your answer will be, its definite a correct things to say, ERP( Everyday Rob People) is one very good example, when we complain bout the heavy usage of a certain road,they simply put a gantry and charge everyone that pass thru it,some driver found alternative road to use in reaching their destination and that particular road will again get jammed with vehicles and what they do????? put another gantry ..

SO MUST WE COMPLAIN BOUT CONGESTION OF JUST KEEP OUT DAMNED MOUTH SHUT?

CPF ( Our hard earn money that they insist on keeping for our old age)
we pay 20%
Employer 14.5%

Look at the figure carefully and see if its balanced? when we work our ass and get more pay,we get deducted more too. Its was meant to be for us to purchased flats and our old age income,BUT when the hell we even owned the flat? our roof is someone else flooring,our wall is someone else wall too...so what we owned? and some of us already owing them money for the cash repayment as our CPF runs dry ( and it was supposed for our old age)

COE for those who wants and afford to owned a car( nowadays its seems everyone can afford one) They say ,its an open market,anybody can bid n have the right....but it seems the only right it have is them to make sure everything is up to them .....think bout it, when the economy is down,new car and loan is easier to get and used car suffer alot....and when company of the used car complained, used car is suddenly in demand and new car slowed....

Election ..most of the area is being control by the Pay And Pay . U will know election is near when u get less parking summons at your place and when your area is extremely clean. Tress planted,lift upgraded,walk way covered and suddenly u see your MOP(members of parliament) at your doorsteps,market and even under your block....
PLS VOTE FOR ME AND I MAKE SURE WE HAVE A GOOD LIVING STANDARD

IR( International Robber) Gambling is never encourage in any of the religion is SG,its said that gambling will makes father forget their family,Mothers neglect their husband,Sons neglect their parents and vice versa.....Monday to Sunday except Tuesday we have our usual Singapore pools gambling and now we have a BIG one coming .....few years back ALEE says cannot and didn't agreed to it and now ALEE say can(dunno y oso)...if we wanna attract tourist we can always suggest,theme park, water world and lots more...not only gambling......Tio bo?

This one really pisses me off....i mean big time......EDUCATION!
Can u imagined hows expensive to put our kids to school nowadays? its really fucking expensive and they are not even promised to be lawyers,teacher,doctor or pilot..... so pay so much for what ? yes its important to study...but by putting extra burden to the family, the father got to really work to put the kids thru education and they always say got subsidy,got grant ,can apply.....but , do u actually know how troublesome to go thru it?


I'm just voicing my unhappiness,cos ppl like me i work day and night ....im still the same, GOT MONEY,PAY THIS PAY THAT ...LEFT FEW HUNDREDS FOR ME TO USED DAILY TO WORK AND WAIT FOR NEXT PAY....HOW LONG? HOW LONG I CAN TAHAN?

Its a Tough LIFE

A fortune teller once told me...my life will change in 2009, things will get better and i be a new n change person.I dunno what makes him says that,but i guess what he says is not true at all..YES i found a job as an Executive chef, yes i bought a new car .

...............................But,my financial responsibility is getting more n more.My pay dint grow but my financial grows alot..Its really difficult to make ends meet now and having to stay in the restaurant for 12 to 14 hrs daily does not help either...

My daily expenses increase tremendously due to the journey,stupid ERP and car park..and when it come to pay day , the more u earn the more the GOMEN deduct your pay,( they say its CPF contribution)

My day to day expenses is already high enough and with the additional financial responsibilities that i have,does not makes it easier for me,Is there anything i can do ????? THAT THE QUESTION I ASK MYSELF?

I'm just getting so pissed with myself and really angry...COS I CANT EVEN DO ANYTHING BOUT IT...

I dun drink, I dun club and i certainly dun Shop...i dun even eat out .....so where the hell i gone wrong?Its just so frustrating that i have to live with this kind of life...

HOW LONG WILL THIS HAPPEN TO ME?

My ex marriage,My ex wife My past Life

Never did i imagine that i would one day be bold enough to open the story of my broken marriage here...We knew when i was in pri school,she was my so call childhood love...we lost contact when i was in primary 5 and we meet again when i was in secondary 2,than we lost contact again till im doing my NS

Her family like me and we get along very well, we go for a holiday together and one day we decided to get engaged. A 3 yrs engagement was brought forward to 2 yrs... i have to work 2 jobs to get married earlier than expected cos she wanted it.

Marriage was a grand affair for me as she is the only daughter and we did both in SG n JB as she had a house there too... i tot my life was complete.............

No matter how calm is the sea....sometimes waves come knocking , thats wat happen here.When ever we had a problem or argument,her mum would be the first to know or advise,Mum told me to give her time to grow up and one day i tot i would purposely try for a baby even when she dun wan it...i tot she would grow up and be more matured when she is expecting .... i was wrong indeed

Thing got worse when she wanted to have a new place to stay, a new house that she wanna build according to her liking,i have to work triple hard to sustain the family... i would be suffering from minor depression in other to get the money in any way...she wanted a maid too and stop working,my financial responsibility grows up so much that at times... i cry to sleep,thinking on how to make ends meet ...it does not help even when the mum start to contribute to MY family....cos every time we argue,the usual words will be,,,,"u not shy ah ? MUM got to help our family.....I kept all this to myself as i dun wan to bother anyone . i suffer in silent..............things got worse and thus the marriage broke down.

Please dun get me wrong...she is not and never a bad woman,just that i think I'm not good enough for her,she remarried in 2005 and i been on a good term with her and her new husband till now.... no matter what , she is still the mother to my daughter .

I pray for her and her new family to last long and be happy always,It never come across my mind to be back with her and i even introduced my GF to her last time....

My past makes me what i am now,My present is the effect of my past and my future will be uncertain due to my past

That's my ex marriage, and she is my ex wife.................

Believing is Everything

"GREAT DISCIPLINE generates ENORMOUS STRENGTH

- Feeding the brain positive thoughts will eventually transform the thinking procedure.
- TRANSFORMED THINKING transforms everything.
- Remove your Disadvantage Complex
* Build Strong Self-Confidence and you are on your way......
* The truth is, YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO CHANGE
* The most serious handicap any person can have is - an IMPOSSIBILITY COMPLEX
* No one's background or past is a disadvantage unless one makes it so in one's thinking.
Remember, any disadvantage rightly handled can be turned into an advantage.
- Possibility Thinking is the greatest weapon that one who feels inferior because of race or
nationality can acquire. Once Possibility Thinking is acquired, then the imagination is no
longer tyrannized, tripped or tricked by Impossibility Thinking.
* Man who wins is the man who is sure that he can.
* One small possibility thought can overpower many impossibility thoughts, if the"

THINK ! think! and think!

I read something which makes me realised that when we moved forward, we forgot those hard times we went thru,we forget to realised how blessed we are and how ppl around treated us,Ppl always tell me to move forward, to look forward and never think bout my past....how he hell could i do that when wat i been thru last time,makes me what i am today?

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.' One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift Today before you say an unkind word

- Think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food

- Think of someone who has nothing to eat.....

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who died too early on this earth. Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.......

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still around

A good MAN ,A good Husband

Whenever a marriage or relationship is having problems,usually everyone would think its the MAN fault,usually yes i admit,it is the man at fault,but at times......the fault comes from the woman ..

After my failed marriage in 2002, marriage never comes across my mind...i even dare to say it boldly in one of the episode at Chef Selebriti that i never wanted to get married anymore.Some ppl says that im just defying GOD will,some says im just deeply hurt and some says im just being stupid for saying that ,whatever the reason is....i really felt that way last time

NOW........Im opening up myself and at times really miss the feeling of having a family, a wife to go home too and kids to play with.

If that really happens......will i be a good HUSBAND? will my past experiences make me more wise in handling the situation .Sometimes i really dunno wat makes a good man and husband?I seen to many broken marriage,too many infidelity and too many problems in a family...will i be able to provide my family, will i be able to balanced my work and family,will i be able to adapt and will i be able lead? This things always keep me away from starting a family and settled down

The only thing i need from my future wife is to understand this phrase...........In a husband there is only a man; in a married woman there is a man, a father, and mother, and a woman.

OMG!! It happening all over again

Its really been long time since i last updated this blog of mine and reason for it is all because, i got nothing to write, i got no mood to write and i really dunno wat to write....

After eleven@bussorah i went on teaching secondary schools for their elective module in culinary skills.... teaching the secondary schools. Its a good job with good pay,I'm getting $80 to $100 per hour to do so,working only 3 to 5 hours on some days and have lots of free time....BUT that's not something i love to do or want to do.( that jobs suits chef khalid better) I still have lots of fire and passion to cook and work in a real kitchen and serve good and quality food.Thus when AZZURA RESORTS comes along, i took up the challenge to work and serving Bistro food with quality....I know it will be a hard one to do and the long hours and stress i will be facing, But i took it anyway ........I will only teach when i get older or when i think i cant make it in the kitchen industry....

I love Azzura , a nice place by the beach at siloso sentosa....the sun the sea the sand.Problems starts to arrive wen i dun have staff,working from 9 am to 12 am on weekdays and 9 am to 3 am on weekends.I have not had my off day for the last 2 weeks plus and working thru Hari raya.The boss is good, staff is good but i guess, now days its hard to find kitchen staff,nobody wanna be a chef anymore i guess.

I'm back to working long hours, whole day in the kitchen ,on my feet almost the whole time here cos i only had 2 staff working , wen he is off, i be alone.....y the fuck i always have to go thru this stage all the time? I got it @ menotti ,@ eleven and now @ Azzura..... am i lucky or wat ?

Tia called me one day and almost in her teary voice,says that she misses me so much...my heart stopped beating and i almost give up everything for her ... at that point of time to me...FAMILY will always be my top priority.

I guess its my luck to have all this happens all the time in places i work for, but one thing for sure it really makes my body and mind moving and push me forward in life.....its tiring but i guess,it really leaves a good impression on my staff and boss.

WHEN U DOING SOMETHING U LOVE DOING....EVEN WHEN IN PAIN, U WILL EVENTUALLY DO IT....... i guess im just fated to do wat im doing ....

oNE Day At a Time

Show me the stairway
I have to climbI'm only human, I'm just a man.
Help me believe in what I could be
And all that I am.
Show me the stairway, I have to climb.
GOD for my sake, teach me to take
One day at a time.


One day at a time dear GOD
That's all I'm asking from you.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday's gone dear GOD
And tomorrow may never be mine.
GOD help me today, show me the way
One day at a time.

Do you remember, when you walked among men?
Well GOD you know if you're looking below
It's worse now, than then.
Cheating and stealing, violence and crime
So for my sake, teach me to take
ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Laydee......

For the past few days, my fren hint at me that his wife is not happy with Laydee...so i guess,its a matter of time i have to take Laydee out from my fren place..Its a second time it happen and im just so lost on her future...to give her away never come across my mind and i never will abandon her nor give her away....she is just so special to me at this point of time.......

Let me tell u who is Laydee...........


Saw her a few time with her siblings on a window of a pet store, she is a sweet looking and pleasant personality,without thinking much....i bought her and put her at my fren place,but to my horror...theres a cat there too.I have no choice but to leave her with them and one day,Laydee got bitten by the cat and it nip her ears...luckily just abit.

I took her out and been keeping her in the car and at another fren place,its not the same place always so its kind of trouble me and making me really tired juggling with work,home and finding a fren place.

There was few nights, that i cant get a place for her and stay in the car till morning with her,she is my companion and even with the difficult situation,I'm happy that i can give her a little bit of happiness.I promised never to give her up no matter how difficult it may be. I promised to shower her with the love that she can get.

Recently my fren which house Laydee been hinting bout the unhappiness she had cos of Laydee,sometimes she just do her business anywhere she like,she nibbles and break things and recently even bites the cabinet and spoilt it... I never blame her cos all of us have to work and Laydee is left all alone.

She maybe just a dog,but she still have a life.....to some she is dirty,but to me she is as clean as anyone as long as u know how to handle.Some may shun me some may say ,whats chef Andri is doing with a dog? Animals always been a part of me, i got bitten by snakes,wild cats,birds and lots more...I love animals big or small.Religious may say dogs are dirty,but religious never forbid us to care for them....they are still a creation of GOD.

Maybe I'm different,maybe I'm strange ..........but there is a verse in QURAN saying that even PIGS can be eaten during a real bad time and situation.

when i wrote this blog, I actually making myself a sitting duck for ppl to say bad things bout me,i actually allowed SOME Muslims to condone my actions and even may have a bad name here...But i dun give a shit bout all that .....

I'm sad, sad that i have to start a new job and Laydee got no place to go one day ..........

TO U,SHE IS JUST A DOG
TO HER,U ARE HER MASTER

Am i a blessing for u ....or Am i a problem?

In a relationship sometimes we felt that if we are a blessing to our other halves or are we problem.......? sometime indirectly or directly we get do get our partner involved in our problems,a problem which they dun have to even think of in a first place...

Sometimes i felt that cos of the love our partners have for us, they willing to give,sacrifice or even go all out to help,I think its just not fair for us to do that and its certainly not a nice things to do at all.They just love us too much to go thru this difficult moment with us and accept the flaws and baggage we carry..

For that we have to thanks them for loving us unconditionally....

Im scared.......

IM SCARED.....

Im sCareD BecAusE

I Don'T WanT aNyOne ElSe To
HaVe YoUr HeArT....

I dOn't wAnt AnY0Ne eLsE t0
KisS y0uR LiPs
I dOn't WaNt AnYoNe eLsE To
bE iN yoUr ArmS

I Don'T wAnt aNy0nE ElSe t0
Be ThE 0Ne YoU LoVe

I'M SceRed BecAusE

I Don't WaNt AnyOne ElsE to

TAKE MY PLACE

Take picture Take picture!

On Mon August 3 2009 at about 6pm... I was going to the shop across the road to buy cigarettes and a can of redbull. As i was walking back to my block area i saw a petrol car and one ugly looking BOTAK officer sitting at the passenger sits looking at me, than they circle my area. I know police will usually do their rounds ,its their job right...So while smoking and talking on the phone, i decided to sit right under my block where they have a round table .

I saw the petrol car again, and they knew for sure i was looking at them too. I saw them park the vehicles on the side block and my view was covered by the pillars on the block. I continue talking on the phone and drink my redbull ( i have no reason y i should be afraid of them anyway)

....................suddenly, from the back they came, i continue talking on my phone and they ask for my ID, as usual i abide and next to me was this CORPORAL MD ZAKI and THE PTE BOTAK... I dunno wat his name,so i call him BOTAK. Corporal md zaki,took down my particulars, phone number and ask me where i was from,told him went down to buy drinks and cigarettes.I told him i stay here and he ask me if i can empty my pockets and wallet .I let him search my wallet and emptied my pockets.... they say thnks and left after that.

I tot its just a routine check up

I guess the BOTAK UGLY malay PTE might have talk something to MD ZAKI and they came back a few minutes later.This time CORPORAL MD ZAKI ask me if they can take my picture on his phone........SHOCKED!!

I have been asked a few times by some ppl to have a photo taken with them during the chef show or even outside wen i was walking around, but this was definitely not that kind of picture they wanted to take,....I question them, y they wanna take picture of me,they say its just to consolidate those staying around here.....that's just a kinder words they used,the real meaning is...

U LOOK LIKE A FUCKING CRIMINAL AND IF ANYTHING HAPPENS AROUND MY AREA OR BLK,THEY CAN SHOW MY FACE TO THE VICTIMS!!!!

I did not take it lightly and when i got home, i called up Yishun South Npc and make an inquiry regarding the above matter, they lady who answer my call cant give me a definite answer and says she got to checked with the CORPORAL ZAKI regarding this, I than ask is this a SOP( standard operation procedure) thingy,than only she say...at times we do take picture.So i asked her,in that case...do u know how many thousand of resident picture u got takes?

So the story recalled me bout incident that a civilian was tick off for taking picture of random ppl in public...But people in blue, can do it and get away...... that's y parents always tells us to work in Government Sector as, u are allowed to do things what normal ppl cant do.....

Im not quite happy with the situation and will definite email the respective authority bout this, i mean its just invading my privacy and infringement my rights...

CHANCES ARE

Chances are you'll find me
Somewhere on your road tonight
Seems I always end up driving by
Ever since I've known you
It seems you're on my way

All the rules of logic don't apply
I long to see you in the night
Be with you 'til morning light

I remember clearly how you looked
The night we met
I recall your laughter and your smile
I remember how you made me
Feel so at ease
I remember all your grace and your style

And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me

Chances are I'll see you
In my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best I've evermet

And I'll be dreaming of the future
And hoping you'll be by my side
And in the morning I'll be longing for the night
For the night

Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best I've ever met

Chances are? how many of us will grab the chance? how many will hope and wish for that chance? how many of us will ever get that chance in the first place?

i wont wait for chance,i will take one day at a time.I rather walk slowly and carefully than run and fall. The song had a special meaning... if u ever been in love or ever fell love before,this is a song for everyone of u .....

I RATHER WITH DOGS!!!!

Time and time again, what i do,who im with and how i behave will always be a talk..People always react to whatever i do and it really getting on my nerves...really am.

Since young i love animals, i love every living thing and animal included... yes, that's me!

I love cats,birds,fishes and even DOGS! yes DOGS which people say i should not even been closed to them or touch them.....Y? cos its a sins? No its not u stoopid!

Touching dog was nvr a sin if u know how and where to touch,and if u know how to clean yourself up after that .

Theres a story in the history of Islam than once, there is this prostitute who was walking on the dessert, she walk past a well and saw a dying dog wanting to drink water from the well,as the well is so deep , the dog can only wait beside the well.She pity the dog and took water from the well and put some of it in her shoe and let the dog drink it......she past away a few steps after that .She goes straight to heaven for the act she did earlier on......think bout it?

Dog is an animal which is so attached to ppl they love,they wont leave u in sadness or wen u down,they be there to entertain u , pleased u and makes u happy .Recently i post up a pic with me taking pic with a chow chow...a breed which i always love...and guess what?

My parents got to know bout it ,cos some kaypo relatives of mine saw it... I rather be who i am ,than be a hypocrite or be a wife who FLIRTS behind their hubby back or be a con man...

Like it or not...its me and my life.....

I rather be taking picture with a DOG than taking picture with human who behaves like DOG !

Im sorry if the blogs bothers some of u ...but i just hate being hypocrite..U can judge me if u wan,but remember...we are all being judge one day by GOD....so who the fuck gave u the idea that u can judge me?

Time will tell.....Time will heal....thats what they say

Time will tell? Time will heal?

AFter updating my blog and talk bout the past, i did some soul searching bout me,myself and i......i saw a picture in face book of my ex and guess what? its a new guy in life..I'm not being a sore loser here or being jealous( abit i guess) ...but i dun understand y someone ppl can just act and pretend throughout the entire relationship...Meeting the parents,kids,relatives,siblings and even friends.?

So i guess,time will tell....if we r talking the truth,Time will heal....if we never seek the truth...

I can say ,that religion,belief and different race does not really matter in any relationship,its the heart that change,its the feeling that gone,its the new guy that came....that change everything...My friend always told me that, its easy for u to get gals cos u r chef Andri, i guess that's just bullshit....even Chef Andri got jilted by his Ex...even Chef Andri feeling hurt and cry cos his GF left him.....

Sometimes.... i just wanna be Andri, a simple guy who works hard for a living,but i guess..its a bit too late now,cos i will always be known as Chef Andri and it will be like this for long.I nvr share my feeling,my thoughts with my family and siblings..I dunno how to talk bout all this R/S things with them.I was always keeping all the stuff to myself and let it be known to them,when the time is right..

I guess,this is retribution...retribution to me,what i did in the past,its all coming back.I cant blame anyone except myself, i cant cry as the tears dry up.

In any relationship,i always pity TIA...cos she must be wondering what happen,what went wrong? y daddy is single and i always have to lie to her that my Ex is bz working and hoping Tia slowly forget her ....but most of the time i failed.I fail to hide and always have to lie to tia over and over again..Its just not fair for her ,I really dun wan her to feel this way,but wat can i do or say ? my hand are tied and my mouth is sealed...I just cant tell her,Oh she left us cos she found a better man than daddy, im still the best daddy in her eyes and i dun wish to change that ..

Once a fortune teller told me. 2009 is not a good year,now i know y .....I lost the restaurant, i felt sad bout my past R/S and everything seems to be so wrong...Money makes the world goes round they say , now i believe what they say....When u are someone, u have all the love u want,but if u r nothing...even those u thought who loves u the most...will leave u for a new one.....

LIFE IS CRUEL THEY SAY.....BUT I NEVER IMAGINE,IT CAN BE THIS CRUEL.......

i still remember, the coffee infused bon bon cake with vanilla sauce and ice cream

( a dessert i once make to show my love )

LIFE GOES ON,NO MATTER HOW HARD IT CAN BE.....WHEN U FALL DOWN,THE NEXT TIME U WILL WALK CAREFULLY....

ME.......

SOMETHING BOUT ME THAT I FOUND ONLINE.............

Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. :You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. :Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job. :You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. :You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying. :You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel. :You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

HOW DO WE KNOW WHEN ITS REALLY OVER?

WHEN a couple broke up...one of us always wish or hope that we patch things up and reconciled.Maybe cause they gone thru so much and its such a waste to forget the good memory,the intimate moments ,the family gathering,the outing,the things we do for each other or even a holiday spent..

We always thought things will be well and we could kiss and make up .....but sometimes,it never happen.Sometime the things we wait will never come,and thing we do will never moved a heart anymore.We thought with determination,we could move a mountain....but sometimes,its not our determination which is not enough,its the mountain which refuse to move....

WE KNOW WE LOST IT FOREVER WHEN YOUR OTHER HALF SEND U AN EMAIL OR POEM.....like this ....

Of all the things I've believed in I just want to get it over with Tears form behind my eyes but I do not cry, Counting the days that pass me byI've been searching deep down in my soul Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old Feels like I'm starting all over again The last 3years were just pretend And I said,Goodbye to you, Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to I USED TO get lost in your eyes and it seems that I can't live a day without you. Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time I want what's yours and I want what's mine I want you but I'm not giving in this time your the one thing I tried to hold on to

WOMAN i been with .............

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else!!

A word which i have used over and over again.I never accept my ex girlfriend once we ended a relationship,I'm not being ego as a man,I'm being realistic as a wise man....I myself have been involved with numerous relationship and I'm gonna write bout what when wrong for both of us..

I been meeting different girls from different age group and races. I had an ex gf which is younger than me, i mean way younger.She is a sweet girl and gets along well with tia .The problem started when she goes church regularly.I knew for once....it wont last anymore,we been thru alot together and yes at times i admit I'm being too much in controlling her movement and such as secretly I'm afraid to lose her, to lose her to someone better and younger...I love her ,love her too much to be afraid of losing her at one point...cos i felt she have the patience and tolerant for my f*%# up attitude at times. Yes i admit i have an attitude,attitude that only certain woman can tolerate and when i knew they can tolerate me, than i knew that they love me...

I been with a single mom b4 too, she had a young daughter and everything is good and religion was not a problem as she already converted.Our problem is that we have differences, i mean a major one.She like to go out often with family,and I'm the kind of man ,who rather stay home.We get along well,the kids loves each other and one day, her ex bf which is my fren comes by to stay at her place after he been released from prison, i knew they been communicating when he is inside and he was asking her for a place to stay after he released.Yes she told me bout it but i was telling her of the inconveniences that may occurs ,my only fault is not to tell her that I'm jealous and afraid that she goes back to him one day ....the fear i had came one day ,wen she goes out to a party with her ex and ignored all my sms and can even lie bout coming home.I knew i lost her..... and her reason for parting is that we r very different, i dun like to go out and she loves to go out......

I met a beautiful lady with a good career as a director of a company.She is the envy of woman and a much sought by man.the problem with her is her possessiveness, i was not allowed to talk,mix or even mingle with other gals, she just want me for herself and does not even prefer tia to be there...i dun have to tell y i left her , NOBODY can compare to tia

I had gals working as nurse b4, i tot is a good idea as we work shift and we will understand each other,but I'm wrong too, she is too demanding for me.She wants too much attention and can be bit emo at times, i left her cos i dun need a MAD woman in my life..

I was involved with a gal which have just broke up with her b4 of 2 yrs, i tot i was a rebound and proceed slowly and cautiously. She keeps on saying that I'm not a rebound,but u will know and can feel that u r just a shelter that she needs at that time..i left her cos i nvr trust that she would love me whole heartedly........

THIS are some of the woman i been with and my past makes me what my present self it, to take one day at the time is the best way for me,to take a slow step rather than a big leap is the best solution for me and to love someone little by little is a good way for me ....

PAST/PRESENT/FUTURE

Not a day goes by without your picture invading my mind. Every little thing reminds me of you. Little words fly around me and I suddenly see your face. My smile dims away, my mind travels to the time when we were together, I remember your words, your poems, And now when I’m sick and lonely and can’t move, I remember the shy touch of your hand. I have what you wanted me to have but it’s all for nothing, nothing can make me happy. Couple of days ago a friend told me to move on, why do I hate myself for wishing to do that. Holding on to a memory is painful, but letting go is not easy, or is it just my addiction to sadness that’s keeping you alive inside my heart. lies and fake smiles are all I have, pretentious hate for the world and life which people can see through is my MASK.

The past makes the present but it wont be a future.......

I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me - I’m going to smile

Just a sad quotes and song

Mengapa kau melarikan diri muKu rasa sayuKu ingin kau di samping kuSeperti waktu dahuluKemana kau menghilangkan diri muKu rasa rinduKu mencari mu di singgah sana Dan aku . . .Hilang tempat bermanjaKau pula . . .Bersuka riaKemana kau menghilangkan diriKu yang mencari . . .Manakah janji dan sumpah setia muYang kau beri kan kepada ku . . .Apakah kesalahan ku pada muDan juga tingkah laku ku ituSehingga kau menghilangkan dirimuDan aku kehilangan mu Tolonglah kembali ke pangkuan kuKu ingin bersama muSeperti waktu dahuluKita berdua . . .Gembira . . .

What if i said you never mattered that i never lost a moment of sleep what if i crushed all of your dreams and broke all the promises you swore to keep? Tell me how your life would be if i did to you what you did to me

The pain is real even if nobody knows. I pretend that I’m glad you went away. These walls are closing more every day and I’m dying inside.. and nobody knowsit but me. Like a clown, I put on a show

A thousand words couldn't bring you backI know because I've tried. Neither could a thousand tears, I know because I've cried. You left behind a broken heart and happy memories too. But I never wanted memories, I only wanted you

Love is a word no one can explain...It comes and goes for me it will never stay... why cant true lovee come my way?... I've tried so hard wishin' it would work out... but in the end I dont know wut it was all about...so i think from now on I'm just gunna play it cool... be good and set some rules... being single aint that bad?!but now i see that being single is just being sad

SAD QUOTES AND SONG TO SHARE ............................

when are we HAPPIEST???

When are we Happiest? *********************Unfortunately the world is an unhappy place, full of misery andsuffering. We hear of senseless acts of violence and needless deathsevery day. Money and more pointedly the lack of it is a source ofgreat unhappiness all over the world.Reigning supreme over all other miseries in the western world ismatters of the heart. Love, betrayal, loneliness and unrequited lovebring a whole new dimension to unhappiness as these are rarelyfleeting moments of sadness but cancers, slowly eating away at ourpride, resolve and our souls.I'm not saying that it is impossible to find happiness in this worldonly that sometimes happiness is not true happiness - it is more areprieve from being miserable. Sometimes when we believe that we arehappy we are fooling ourselves because the reality is that we are nottruly elated and happy, we just aren't sad for a while.Some of the times that we are genuinely happy is if we are luckyenough to find someone that we love and reciprocates our feelings. Weare happy on the birth of our children but some of that happiness isus already living vicariously through the new born because of theirinnocence.And therein lies the root of happiness, innocence. We are happiest as children, innocent and untainted by the ills of theworld, if we are lucky and do not suffer abuse.We are happiest before we see the true face of the world with it'sreligious and territorial wars, senseless slaughter and waste of humanlives. Before we know anything of affairs of the heart and the painand pleasure that love can bring and take away.Our days and our thoughts are uncluttered with things like worry andfear, hatred and pain. We blissfully run through fields and the mostimportant concern we might have is whether our mother will shout at usfor getting a hole in yet another pair of shoes.We have no idea or concern as to what the future holds in store. Weface it with no fear or pre-conceptions and our dreams are boundlessand intact. We are oblivious to the fact that once we exit childhoodthere will insurmountable challenges in our way so we run and play,climb trees and throw balls whilst the world waits patiently around usready to shatter our illusions and hit us hard with reality once ourchildhoods are over.When reality hits, it strips away our hopes and dreams unless we clingon to them vehemently and defiantly, our innocence falls around thesame time and realisation dawns that the world is not a playground.There are bills to pay, there is work to do, hearts to be broken andlives to be lost. Mortality looms as we realise all of a sudden how anendless childhood seems so long ago and so fleeting and we realisethat we are looking through the eyes of an adult at other childrenplaying in the field, laughing and running with their innocence intactand we realise that it is that innocence that must be protected aslong as possible. Because we know that when that innocence leaves themhappiness will only visit from time to time rather than be a constantcompanion.We realise and remember as we see children playing the happiness thatwe enjoyed and we realise that we we were happiest as children beforewe were tainted by reality and responsibilities.As we watch them play, just for a moment happiness turns our way andsmiles like an old friend and the child in each of us smiles backwarmly

LOVE OR HATE THEM.......THIS IS US MAN

Im a TAURUS and lots of things we hear bout taurus and their behaviour,i compiled a list of things bout GUYS so that LADIES will understand us more and please keep all this in mind.As simple your MAN maybe ,we are the most difficult individual to study and even we MAN dun understand ourself at times...............

1) Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about. 2) Guys are more emotional then you think. If they loved you once, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let go in their head, and it hurts every second that they try. 3) Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. 4) A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to. 5) Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what? uh...nevermind." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out. 6) If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice. 7) A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you. 8) GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE THEM !!! 9) Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole heck of a lot. 10) If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl. 11) If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and he's really thinking on something. 12) When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that. 13) When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me." 14) If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up. 15) When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something. 16) Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD or confusing, but somehow are drawn even more to them. 17) A guy would give the world to be able to read a girl's mind for a day. 18) No guy can handle all his problems on his own; he's just too stubborn to admit it 19) NOT ALL GUYS ARE RUDE!!! Just because ONE is RUDE doesnt mean he represents ALL of them. 20) WHEN A GUY SACRIFICES HIS SLEEP AND HEALTH JUST TO TALK TO YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. 21) Even if you dumped a guy months ago and he loved you, he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be for you to come back into his life.

-EVERYTHING WRITTEN HERE IS TRUE....SO LADIES, READ IT ...........................

LOST LOVE

I dont wanna lose you,I dont wanna use youJust to have somebody by my sideAnd I dont wanna hate youI dont wanna take youBut I dont wanna be the one to cryThat dont really matter to anyone, anymoreBut like a fool I keep losing my placeAnd I keep seeing you walk through that doorBut theres a danger in loving somebody too muchAnd its sad when you know its your heart you cant trustTheres a reason why people dont stay where they areBaby sometimes love just aint enoughNow I could never change youI dont wanna blame youBaby you dont have to take the fallYes I may have hurt youBut I did not desert youMaybe I just wanna have it allIt makes a sound like thunderIt makes me feel like rainAnd like a fool who will never see the truthI keep thinking somethings gonna changeBut theres a danger in loving somebody too muchAnd its sad when you know its your heart you cant trustTheres a reason why people dont stay where they areBaby sometimes love just aint enoughAnd theres no way homeWhen its late at night and youre all aloneAre there things that you wanted to sayDo you feel me beside you in your bedThere beside you where I used to layAnd theres a danger in loving somebody too muchAnd its sad when you know its your heart they cant touch.Theres a reason why people dont stay who they areCause baby sometimes love just aint enough.Baby sometimes love just aint enough

A song in the 90 that tells us, in a relationship...MAYBE SOMETIMES LOVES JUST AINT ENOUGH! These few weeks, i have been feeling terrible..very terrible indeed . sometimes in a relationship/marriage... love just aint enough to sustain it.Its take a whole lots of little little things and money too..... I learn the hard way, i tot love is just a simple 4 LETTERS word ....Im wrong,truly wrong... i tot im street smart,but im naive.... in love...Those saying there in love,think again bout the love.... religion/differences/attitude/behaviour all play a part in it..


To the love that can nvr come back.......... its not me which is talking,its my heart .

Adakah salah perbuatan ini atau mulia atas dasar keperimanusian?

Andri terbaca tentang MKI dalam salah satu blog nya dan terpegun dgn cara pemifikiran dan melihat anjing anjing dirumah nya...Ada kah kita di SG akan menerima jika ada orang melayu islam seperti dia?

FOR FUN ,LAUGHTER,PEACE AND JOY

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?


Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.


Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!


Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?


Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.


Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?


Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.


Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgen t matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!


Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?


Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).


Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
======================================================
This is hilarious ...

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:

Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)

FROG UNDER A COCONUT SHELL

Y do the frog stay under the coconut shell? ppl say he is stupid to be living under coconut shell and not see the world ..


is the frog really stupid......? or is it his destiny?
or is it better for him to stay there?
or is it just his fate?


No one wanted to be like the frog,but i can tell u that at times its better to be the frog living in his own shell,minding his own business and minding his own business..

It happen to me, when my comments and feedback brought nothing except anger to others.I'm not asking them to listen or do wat i say,but at least think and analyst it before even getting angry.
Sometimes i just wished i could just accept anything and everything as it is,and keep comments and suggestion to myself like i always do..(last time)
sometimes i just wish that i am living in my shell and ignored wat ever happen to my surrounding,my frens and my love one...I was living in my shell before and maybe i should do that again .Dun care or bother bout what others say or do,as long as they are happy with what they do,so be it

TAURUS MAN.....which is ME..

A typical Taurus man comes across as a very calm, quiet, practical, composed, humble as well as levelheaded person. He takes one step at a time, that too after much deliberation. He is not the one who 'falls in the love at the first sight'. A Taurus male will take time to decide whether you are the person with whom he can spend his entire life. However, if he makes up his mind that you are the one for him, he will go to any lengths to win your love. These efforts include being romantic to the core, sending you flowers, writing poems for you, etc.

Taurean men are always protective of their loved ones and will be very gentle and pleasant towards them. When in love, they are very romantic and will express the same with small little gestures. You may be given flowers every other day, taken to the most romantic place in the town and wished on all the important days of your life, like the first time you met him. If you want to stir the emotions of a Taurus male, the best way is to play some soothing, romantic songs. Building castles in the air is not one of the traits of a Taurus guy's personality.

He won't promise you the stars, but he will gift you the diamond necklace you saw in the jewelry shop two days back. With him, you will never feel insecure about the future. His characteristics profile includes qualities like calm strength, stable nature and peaceful ways, all of which are sure to win your heart. A Taurus man does not believe in taking chances and will always be prepared for the worst of circumstances. If you want to attract him, it is better to start brushing up your lady charms right now.

He doesn't want a tomboyish wife. You will be expected to behave like a lady. When you are in a public place, let your Taurean male be the brighter one of the two. Don't misunderstand him. He respects your intelligence, but don't make him feel embarrassed by contradicting his statements in public. If you make this mistake, remember to say sorry afterwards or you are doomed. Never ever try to push him or you will have to face his violent temper. In case you just did that, remain with him and try to calm him. z

Don't even think of going to your mom's flat for the weekend. You are his wife, he loves you and you have to live with him. A Taurus guy will also not tolerate outsiders interfering in his house, be it your mother or anyone else. He wants a girl who is close to him, but is not clinging on to him forever. He wants his freedom and will let you enjoy your freedom too. You will be allowed to indulge in all you feminine fashions. Infact, a Taurean man will enjoy watching you do the typical feminine stuff, that too with patience.

However, remember that he is the boss of the house and come back to him when he asks you to. If you do this, you will be treated with the most pleasant and agreeable husband on this earth. Just let him handle the reins and he will do anything and everything for you. Don't expect him to announce his love ten days after meeting you. Taurean men take time to truly comprehend their emotions, but when they do, they make sure that they get their love. Love blindfolds them and they become generous to all the flaws of the relationship.

A Taurean male loves nature and its beauty. When he settles down, he wants crisp bread, sparkling cutlery and perfectly baked apple pie. Don't expect him to eat that burnt sandwich, without saying anything. As a father, he will be tender, demonstrative, warm and understanding. A Taurus man is extremely hard working and thus, needs to rest every now and then. Don't ever push him or accuse him of being lazy when he is walking at his own leisurely pace. If you are thinking of getting married to him, develop the habit of keeping the house clean and warm.

He wants his home to look like a home, not a garbage dump. Don't worry; he won't be criticizing you all the time. Infact, most of the time, he will be generous to even those faults on which other males complain. Just remember to make a Taurus man feel like the head of the family and let him handle all the responsibilities. He will provide you a cozy nest, which will be full of love, warmth, care and concern. He is stubborn, but only when you provoke him. Otherwise, he is the most patient man you will ever find. Be happy. You have a real man besides you, who will wrap his arms around you, protect you & love you forever

2 b a bad man 2 be a sad man

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue HEART
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through


No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue heart

ITS FOR MY PAST AND NOT MY PRESENT OR MY FUTURE!!!