2007! 2008! 2009! wats the difference? I STILL FEEL EMPTY!!

2009! Starting of a new year,new beginning, Wats the meaning of NEW YEAR NEW BEGINNING when i still feel EMPTY inside?

Its been like this since 2002 and i still feel the same,year in year out.I dun even know that times have past so fast until i saw how TIA grow .She is in pri 1 now and coping well with school and new family.SOMETIMES I WISH I HAD A FAMILY,a wife to come home too, a wife to hug me to sleep,to share my sorrow and laughter,kids at home to run about and watch TV and even eat together,family day on Sunday to go picnic or zoo....DEAR GOD,LISTEN TO WAT I HAVE TO SAY PLEASE" I MISS THOSE TIMES AND I'M NOT FAKING IT"!!!!!

I know i wont get that feeling anymore cos,firstly...Tia dun allowed me to get marry and i cant afford another marriage.

Others who saw me, always see me smiling and happy always, i dunno how i could hide from everyone including ppl closed to me...BUT know, i wan u all to know the truth,I WAS NEVER HAPPY...NEVER. the happiness i portray is just a cover up for the sorrow i had inside,believe it or not, i still at times cried to sleep and y sleeping is the only things i do? is because sleeping makes me stop my sadness and worry,its not a long term solution,just a temporary one..but it does help me alot.

I dunno wat will makes me forget all this sadness and trouble,i hope GOD can give me the answer or at least show me the light.....

I pick up this words from someone close to me...

LEARN NOT TO ACCEPT PROMISES,SO U WONT BE REJECTED BY EMPTINESS
LEAN HOW TO KEEP A DISTANT FROM HOPE,SO U WILL NOT MEET UP WITH DISAPPOINTMENT